Anna and I came into this dorm room with really only one rule: we're far too hot and wayy too much of a good time to get tied down freshman year. Like, no, it's just not happening. We will call this the Golden Rule appears to actually be some cheap ass alloy because it seems to have gotten a little bit tarnished.
The Downfall of Anna's Golden Rule
Somewhere along the road of the first couple weeks of college, Ann met her dear friend JBob's roomie, Cort. I like Cort. Cort's a cool guy. But eventually they started hanging out all the god damn time and one night as we lay in our lofted beds meditating, Anna says, "Cait. I'm about to have a boyfriend." She was right too. He bought her a disgustingly adorable balloon which is bizarrely still inflated as a token of his adoration and started taking her out on dates. One night after recovering from what was the first of many spells of mono, Anna came stumbling home in a drunken sunday night (or was it a monday?) mess proclaiming to me that they were official! I wasn't even mad. I was so excited for them! Fuck.
The Downfall of Cait's Golden Rule
So there's this guy I've been talking to ever since a ballsy Facebook message i made last November-ish. I scored his digits and we eventually started hanging out but by the end of last summer it was clearly going nowhere and due to my support of the Golden Rule, I told him what was up and got outta that shit. We kept talkin a little until he started talking shit about my decision to go through sorority recruitment, that dick. We didn't really talk for a long time after that until he told me he was talking to this girl I know and wanted my opinion. I told him she was pretty cute and stuff and to go for it. But of course I also informed him of her rumored sexcapades that I heard had went down over the summer (just being a good friend!). That caused an absolute fucking firestorm, but eventually, I was proven right (i mean, duh, if you're at a party with my friends more or less begging a guy to bang you..yeahhh that shits gonna get out, sorry 'bout it princess). Anyway, as the good friend I am I was totes his shoulder to cry through the whole thing and eventually he tarnished my golden rule and now he be m'boyfriend. Tha fuck.
SO. Since we are obvs these adorable little soon-to-be housewives, we've totally been acting like it, and not just dressing up like them for Halloween either. Like we seriously did all of our dishes, rearranged our room, PUT AWAY ALL OUR LAUNDRY... It's weird. Some serious changes are being made in 1214. Wassup.
